The Youth Worker

Sometimes the Answer is "I'll get back to you."

2009-05-25T23:37:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd be without a job for more than a few days. Working has been part of my life since I was a 15 year old bag boy at the local grocery store. I love to work, no two ways about it.

Youth ministry has been my passion for a long time. I've spent 8 years getting paid to do it and almost the same amount of time volunteering. It's hard to remember a time when teens were not a huge part of my life. It's been a difficult 3 months for me. I do feel a little guilty for being down over such a short period of time. There are great people out there that have been out of work for a much longer time. Still, I miss the energy that serving young people brings.

There have been a few interviews, and I was thisclose to getting a job at a great church. It was not what God has planned for me, and I am struggling with that. Sometimes God answers us right away, sometimes He does not. I do know that His timing is perfect.

So, here I am at this defining moment in my life. I have learned a thing or two from this experience. When God does place me at my next church I will be a better youth minister. I will appreciate the work more, I will gather more energy from my youth, and I will have some great experiences to teach from.

God will get back to me.

What Exactly is a "Part-Time" Ministry Position?

2009-04-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

I've recently joined the ranks of millions of others Americans; unemployed and searching for a job. My skill set is very specific to my profession. I am a professional youth worker. This pretty much means that I need to find another youth worker job.

I've been scouring the youth ministry job sites every hour and I've noticed something interesting. Churches are now hiring "part-time" youth ministers.

I first ran into this term a few months ago at the last church that signed my paycheck. Because of budgetary constraints they required me to work part-time. Youth ministry in 20 hours per week, seemed weird, but it beat no-time. I learned one thing very quickly, most people have no idea of the time and effort that goes into the youth minister's week. I was handed a piece of paper that outlined the duties expected and how much time I should give each activity. I followed it the best I could for about three months. I learned something important; ministry is not a part-time gig.

If you are a church leader and you are looking to hire a "part-time" ministry professional do your church a favor. Take the job listing down until you can find a way to pay this person for the full-time work you will ultimately get from them. Or at least be honest and say, "Part-time pay for full-time work".

The Facebook Generation

2009-03-22T23:58:00.000-07:00

Most of my friends are of the "Gen X" or "Gen Y" generations. I've never liked those names. They don't really say anything about us. Now, the generation created after WWII got a cool name, "Baby Boomers". We all understand what happened when G.I.'s returned home to their wives after the war. Their generation name is an accurate description.

I'm proposing a new name for 20-40 somethings. This name adequately describes who we are and what we do. I propose that we be called "The Facebook Generation".

Think about it, 20-40 somethings are very wrapped up in what anyone they ever met, went to school with, or have thought about in the past 10 years are up to. We want to know the most mundane of activities. It doesn't matter! We are that interested in each others' lives.

If our children painted a tree in school, we want to know about it. If we just had a chalupa for lunch, we want to know about it. If someone is watching a rerun of "Lost", we definitely want to know about it. We have this unquenchable need for up-to-date information. We want to be "in the know".

Ultimately we care about each other. We miss each other. And, we want to know if the cool kids in our graduating class have gone bald or put on 75 lbs. We are the FaceBook Generation and we are all going to die from Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome. At least we will go to our graves knowing that everyone in our circle was aware that we had spaghetti for dinner.

Simplifying the Family Schedule

2009-03-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

My newest article in my series on parenting is currently on www.parentreviewers.com Please take a moment to check out this awesome website! The article as it is published is below.

Simplifying the Family Schedule

By Jay Tucker

So, what did you do today? If your schedule is anything like mine you probably woke the kids up, made their breakfasts, nagged them to brush their teeth, got them dressed, and rushed them out the door in a NASCAR type effort to beat the late school bell. I feel a lot like an Army soldier because I do more before 7am than most people do all day!

But the day isn’t done, not by a long shot. I’m also a stay-at-home dad. The rest of my day is consumed by making sure my son and I make the most of it. We have stuff to learn, things to see, lunches to make, and then thankfully, naps to take. Most of the time, the nap is just for him. I typically use that time to answer e-mails, write, clean up, plan dinner, or make a few phone calls. At least the house is quieter, for a little while.

Nap time is short-lived. Immediately after nap time it’s out the door again to pick up my daughter from school. Then it’s time for homework help, dinner prep, and making sure the dog is taken care of. That leads us into the evening. We have activities to attend, engagements to keep, friends to try and meet up with, and the inevitable “boo boo” to mend. When it’s time to put the kids to bed, my wife and I are ready to go into a temporary coma! Remember when you used to wonder why your parents were so cranky?

Well, I have a few ideas that came out of necessity in our house. I can’t honestly say that life isn’t still at break-neck speed, but it’s a little more doable.

Examine your children’s bed time routine. We have it down to almost military precision at our house. Turn off the television during this time so that every one can concentrate on the tasks at hand. We made a picture chart and laminated it so that each night our kids can check off the tasks like taking their vitamins, brushing their teeth, going to the potty, etc.

At least one night a week is a “stay-at-home” night. No one and I mean NO ONE gets to leave for any activity. We spend a quiet night at home playing foosball, board games, or reading. Yes, sometimes we watch a little television too.

My wife and I give each other breaks. Sometimes one of us just doesn’t have the energy to be super parent. When those times occur, we encourage each other to take a little nap or whatever is necessary to get the other one recharged.

We analyze every new evening activity- When our daughter brings home the brochure for the next “I must be involved” activity, we sit down with her and ask her which one of the current things she is willing to eliminate. I firmly believe that no one member of the family should dominate the majority of the family’s time. I have witnessed marriages that have been ruined because they have allowed all of their time to be taken by driving their children to countless activities during the week.

Be firm, and let your “no” mean “no”- That doesn’t just apply to the kids. If an activity isn’t flexible and tries to cut into family stay at home night or another activity, make sure the coach or leader of that activity knows that it isn’t acceptable. Bill Gates doesn’t make it to all of IBM’s meetings so I’m sure the 4-5 year old soccer team isn’t going to fall apart if your child doesn’t have perfect attendance. Piece of mind and family unity is much more important.

The time has come to reclaim our precious family time. Just remember, being busy doesn’t necessarily make a life better. I think there is a lot to be gained from a few boring moments in each of our weeks. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and make dinner.

A Truthful Voice in the Steroids Discussion

2009-03-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

Tony Mandarich was a monster when I was in high school. You may remember him as being on the cover of Sports Illustrated in the early 90's with the nickname "The Incredible Bulk." Mandarich made the term "pancake" popular among offensive linemen in football. He led college football in this statistic that measured how many times an offensive lineman put a defensive player flat on his back, like a pancake. He was a force.

He got drafted by the Green Bay Packers, and by his own admission, didn't play up to expectations. He got involved in steroids and alcohol abuse and it took it's toll on his career. A couple of seasons later he landed in Indianapolis with the Colts. It was during this time that he reestablished his relationship with God and got away from the substances that were robbing his talent. Tony Mandarich's story is enlightening, tragic, and hopeful all in one.

He has a book that is now making the rounds. It's about his life, his battle with steroids and alcohol, and the ultimate way God changed his life. It's unlike any of the other "athletes and steroids" books because he didn't use the book to cheaply finger other famous athletes. Instead, he has taken the refreshing approach of laying out how his life has been made victorious by God's hand.

I haven't read it yet, but I'm headed to www.modernhistorypress.com to buy it as soon as I'm done writing this blog. I think this book is going to change a lot of lives. Congratulations and thanks Tony, from a youth worker who prays for student atheletes daily.

The Importance of Getting Together as a Family at www.parentreviewers.com

2009-03-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

I am honored to be a guest blogger at www.parentreviewers.com. This is a great site for any parent who may be looking for tips, products, or connections with other parents. My article is posted below.

Do you remember the TV show “Leave it to Beaver?” The terrifically sappy show starring Tony Dow and Jerry Mathers…as the Beaver, is a classic portrait of Americana family in the 1950s. Sure the show was unrealistic. All of the problems of the world were neatly settled in 23 minutes and all done without mussing June’s hair. Ah, if life were just that simple!

One of the most important truths that the show conveyed was that family unity must be achieved by spending time together as a family. Just about every episode of the show showed the family dining together. It was typically during these times in each episode where the problem was presented and mom and dad offered their counsel. Beaver and Wally usually tried to do things their own way at first, but ultimately the parental advice saved the day.

Times have changed, but some things have remained the same. Children still have problems and mom and dad have wisdom to share. Unfortunately, the time together spent over a meal has all but disappeared. Most American families spend more time apart than they do together. We live in a society that makes it necessary for both parents to have full-time jobs. Our children are just as busy. They spend at least seven hours a day in school, come home to do hours of homework, and then rush away to work or to be involved in some club or activity. The time for conversation has been reduced to a few passing words uttered as we get to our next task.

We understand that we can’t quit our jobs and that our children still need to go to school. What about the rest of the day? Here are a few thoughts.

Take advantage of the way young people communicate. Learn how to use the text option on your phone. If you absolutely can not be face-to-face with your child, this is an option that can keep you in the loop.

Make and post a schedule on the front door of when breakfast, lunch, or dinner will be served. Communicate to your child that this is the result of how much you love them and miss them. Encourage them to be there! You’ll be amazed what happens when you request their presence instead of demand it.

Let your child determine the topics of discussion. Be creative by asking questions that will lead to discussion about what is going on in their lives. For example, if they want to talk about “American Idol” ask them who they most identify with on the show and why.

Suggest that your child invite a friend to meal time occasionally. Take the time to get to know their friends. (Even if they have several piercings)

If, at first, your children aren’t very talkative, don’t force them to talk. Let them enter into the conversation on their own time. Trying to force a young person to talk is like trying to eat Jello with a fork.

Don’t try to be “cool”. Nothing will turn a young person off faster than trying to act their age. Remember that they WANT your wisdom! The have plenty of friends their own age.

Avoid these phrases at all cost; “You just think you have problems”, “When I was your age”, “One day you will understand”, “Do as I say and not as I do”, and “Because I said so”

Communication is a skill that takes lots of practice. Understand that it may not go well at the start. Your child will probably resist your attempts at getting to know them better, especially if talking to each other is a foreign concept. Start small! Begin by telling them that you love them and that you truly want to hear about their day. When they do start talking to you, remember to listen! Resist the urge to butt in with a solution right away. Sometimes all they want is for someone to listen to them.

Listen to Chapter One of my book, The Whole Youth Worker

2009-02-09T20:17:00.000-08:00

You can now listen to an audio version of the first chapter, "Hey Youth Minister, You Rock!" by clicking on the link below. After you click on the link, click on the third ink bottle next to the title, "Click Here to Hear Chapter One Read by the Author."

http://www.betteryouthministry.com/excerpts.html

www.bloggingauthors.com

2009-02-02T00:05:00.000-08:00

The Whole Youth Worker; Advice on Professional, Personal, and Physical Wellness from the Trenches received a very nice write up on www.bloggingauthors.com. In addition to this website, the book has also received a little bit of attention from the following.

www.insidescooplive.com
www.readerviews.com
January 20, 2009 edition of "Perspectives" on 88.7FM in the South Florida area
www.fitforfaith.blogspot.com

I am continuing to work the publicity angle and have a couple of really exciting possibilities that I will be sure to share with you soon!

Working for a Church Ain't Easy

2009-01-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

Nice economy isn't it? I know many youth workers that have had their positions eliminated or cut drastically. I happen to be one of those, and I know first hand it ain't fun.

Many well intentioned people have reminded me that God is in control. Don't you love to hear that? I mean don't get me wrong, having my life in God's hands is a beautiful thing. I know he is in control and ultimately His perfect will is all that matters. But, I'm a selfish human and well, right now times are tough! Sometimes I'd like an answer that I can see, touch, taste, and smell a little better.

If you're in the same ballpark just know that you have at least one more youth worker going through the same thing. Keep plugging along and remember, God is in control!

Seniors, Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Shoot 'Em

2008-10-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

It's homecoming season and most of my highschool females are out of their minds. What dress should I buy? What shoes should I buy to go with that dress? Should I go stag or with a date? Ah, the important questions of life.

A good portion of my youth group are seniors. If there is one thing that is a common thread among most seniors it's finality. This is my LAST homecoming dance! This is my LAST marching band season! This is my LAST prom! That finality makes most everything seem a lot more important than it really is.

During my first year of ministry I counted on seniors for leadership. I mistakingly thought that they would understand that this was their LAST year of youth group. What I found out is that many of my seniors were beginning the process of seperation. I have learned that seperation is necessity. Without seperation you will have that kid in their third year of college that continues to show up at youth group. Moving on is difficult, but it has to happen.

Pray for your seniors. Celebrate when they do show up for youth group. But, most importantly, understand that they are moving on. That's a good thing.

Global Craziness

2008-10-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

We are winding down another presidential campaign season and we face a level of craziness that our generation hasn't had to deal with. I have to admit, I thought that 9/11 would be this generation's low point. It looks like 9/11 has competition.

Rumors swirl about another "Great Depression". It's hard for me to fathom that we, as a nation, could have let this happen again. Greed, a lack of discipline, and a level of disdain for those who don't agree with us have brought us to this. Where do we go from here? How do we help our teens understand it?

Some young people in your group may be going through a ton right now. I'm sure that some of the parents in your group have lost jobs or face that prospect. Our jobs as youth ministers have never been so important.

I believe that there is a bright spot to all of this. Our nation is learning that depending on political leaders and financial institutions are pointless. Many will be looking to lean on something far more substantial. Do you have any suggestions for them? I thought that you might!

Yet Another Guy With a Blog

2008-09-09T09:32:00.001-07:00

The Youth Worker is dedicated to the most amazing people on the planet; the youth pastors, ministers, directors, and workers! You all have my love and respect for committing your life and passion to sharing God with young people. My blog will be filled with my (and yours if your interested) advice, thoughts, and feelings pertaining to youth ministry. Thanks for stopping by and keep checking for the updates!